And Yet Which One's Legal?
Guy: But weed gives you cancer.Girl: No. Cigarettes be givin' you cancer. Weed makes you be high.–42nd St & 6th AveOverheard by: kimmykins
View ArticleThat's Why She's Dead
Preppy gay guy: I thought she already had cancer?Preppy fag hag, dawning realization: You're right! She did… definitely.–Bleecker & GroveOverheard by: jams
View ArticleIt Didn't Tip You Off That My “Sores” Smelled Suspiciously Like Pepperoni?
Guy: Nathan's the only one that's never lied to me.Ditzy girl: Oh, yeah? What about me? I've never lied to you!Guy: You did lie to me. That one time you told me you had Aids/cancer. I looked that up....
View ArticleWho Says New Yorkers Aren't Friendly?
Old man: Enjoy your cancer.Underage smoker: Thanks, man! You too!–73rd & ColumbusOverheard by: Fish
View ArticleHave You Seen Wednesday? It's Totally Had Its One-Liners Done.
Woman on cell: I can't believe no one said anything… How could no one notice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this money to get my nose fixed, and no one says anything?–Norfolk &...
View ArticleIt's Made Him Selfish
Girl #1: So yeah, he's been telling my mom every time I fuck up.Girl #2: Ugh. How old is he, even?Girl #1: Like 40, maybe 50-ish.Girl #2: So why, like, do you just not tell him to fuck off?Girl #1: I...
View ArticleDammit, That Was My Tumor
Thug #1: Yo, Quame got cancer, right?Thug #2: Yeah.Thug #1: See, that what he get for stealin' from me…–L TrainOverheard by: Paul
View ArticleFor That, and for Wearing Those Horrid Tasseled Loafers.
Gay dude to girl friend: Stupid-ass Aids-filled cancer patient.Girl friend: That's why you're gonna die tomorrow.–1 TrainOverheard by: Glory
View ArticleSkimming, Actually
Middle aged man #1: I smoke a joint every once in a while with him.Middle aged man #2: Well, it's good for you–it stops cancer. You know, the whole medicinal marijuana thing I've been reading about in...
View ArticleWhich One's the “Smart” Friend? Show Your Work.
Girl #1: I am just not a fan of the Jonas Brothers.Girl #2: I don't know, the one with cancer is pretty cute.Girl #1: What? I don't think any of them have cancer…Girl #2: Yeah, the youngest one.Girl...
View ArticleMaybe I’ll Smoke This One with My Ass
Girl: Oh my God, that’s what a smoker’s lung looks like?Guy #1: Whoa… Yeah, I guess it is. Look, that’s what a cancerous lung looks like.Girl: That is disgusting. Guy #1: Really is.Guy #2: Putrid....
View ArticleGot Some Hairy Wrists There, Do Ya?
Man: What’s that black band on your wrist for? Everyone has those things now. Is it like Kabbalah? Or to cure cancer? Woman: It’s a hairband. –Flight out of LaGuardia
View ArticleI Guess She Works for Goldman
Girl #1: Man, it sure is cold. Girl #2: Yes…but my insides are fiery…and cancerous. –Union Square Overheard by: Grace
View ArticleDemocracy Clears Doesn’t Work; Back to Monarchy?
Wheeltard: Round here I’m just an idiot, but not in Brooklyn. I’m king in my neighborhood. When I cross that bridge and they see me comin’, they know I’m king. –Tompkins Square Park Overheard by: Alex...
View ArticleProbably a Little Cause and Effect Going on There
Girl #1: I didn't know your grandmother had cancer.Girl #2: Of course she had cancer! Why else would she have only one boob?Girl #1: Is this the mean one or the fat one?Girl #2: The mean one. –Kimmel...
View ArticleTelevision is Always the Best Answer
Guy: What do you give a baby who is blind and deaf? Girl: Television? Guy: Cancer…Television’s a better answer. –Washington Square South Overheard by: Elizabeth Benefiel
View ArticleIt’s Wonderful How Women Listen to Each Other
PR woman #1: So, my cousin’s test on her biopsy showed that it was cancerous…PR woman #2: Girl, that nuttin’. My best friend’s sister’s husband — he’s a doctor — was drivin’ to the city from New Jersey...
View ArticleThere's No Pill for What Wednesday One-Liners Have
Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema… –50th & 8th Overheard by: chris Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal! –1st Ave & St. Mark's Man...
View ArticleThat Way I Can Snack on It When I Get Bored
Girl #1: What does a brain tumor feel like? Cause I think I have one.Girl #2: I don't know, but that's horrible.Girl #1: Yeah, it would suck a lot. It just feels like there's a lump, in my brain. I'm...
View ArticleI Guess She Works for Goldman
Girl #1: Man, it sure is cold. Girl #2: Yes…but my insides are fiery…and cancerous. –Union Square Overheard by: Grace
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